home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
The Word 9
/
The Word 9 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
/
Files_2
/
09-jh_ufo.txt
/
09-jh_ufo.txt
Wrap
Text File
|
1996-01-17
|
4KB
|
87 lines
«------------------------------------------»
Joe Hodge isn't to blame for lack of updates
Read inside for the true explaination!
-------------------------------------------»
... Start ...
Joe Hodge ... Ami-Express coder extrordinaire, presumed missing/dead
... The reason? After much investigation we are proud to present the
truth concerning his disappearance!
Just over twelve months ago, an unidentied flying object was reported
being seen over Hollywood, Florida in the United States. At first,
nothing mysterious was suspected and was simply put aside as yet another
country hick farmer enjoying too much moonshine, but when a lady named
Mrs Hodge, living in Hollywood, Florida reported her husband missing, we
decided to investigate ...
"He was such a lovely man" Mrs Hodge told us, sobbing, "he was a good
husband, and taught me everything I know about C++. He went out bowling
for an evening with his friends, but when they said he'd stopped off on
the road on the way home to relieve himself and never came back, they
began to worry." When she calmed down and could continue telling us all
she knew about the disappearance, the incident became far more serious
than a drunk asleep in the forest ...
"We went out the next morning to look for him, the local police had
gathered a group of concerned registered users to scour the forest, but
after 9 hours we found no trace of him but a scorched patch of earth
where his friends had last seen him."
We began to look through our records and newspaper clippings, but found
nothing of any help, then from nowhere a bugfixed /X release appeared.
We were stumped, Joe Hodge had disappeared but a release was now
available? Striking us as a little suspicious, we dug deeper ... the
release was badly coded and seemed to take no notice of the mail left to
Joe Hodge on the /X World Release Site, leading us to believe that it
wasn't Joe Hodge who had released it! But if not Joe, then who?
A mysterious and anonymous message relayed to us via internet told us
that Joe Hodge had been abducted, confirming out worst fears. The
message sent by UFO@OUTER.SPACE seemed authentic, but the news became
worse over correspondance ... Joe was dead! He had died while the
aliens were performing experiments on the human anatomy, and now they
had a deep seated guilt complex because they realised the trouble they
had caused all registered /X users.
The aliens had managed to keep Joe's brain alive for a little time after
his physical death, and took all information on /X possible from his
brain. The operation took 5 minutes and then they began to learn C++ to
make an attempt at repairing the damage they had done to boards across
the globe.
This led to several quick releases of an updated /X file, but realising
that no-one believed this number of updates could have been released by
Joe Hodge this quickly, they decided not to attempt this again ...
We contacted the US Government to relay our findings, only to find that
they too had been carrying out their own research into the event, as
Pentagon BBS itself had suffered, being restricted to /X4.1 in an
attempt to keep stability within the complex, and avoid lame updates.
They told us in confidentiality that the UFO sighting over Hollywood was
indeed in the area that Joe Hodge has disappeared, and they were now
convinced that he had been abducted, but decided not to make the
information public in an attempt to divert widespread panic.
Armed with this confirmation, we decided it was time that the public
knew the truth! Joe cannot be responsible for lack of updates for
software that people have invested considerable money in ... it was
aliens who did it!
Since this event, Mrs Hodge has now remarried and is living a quiet
suburban life with her new husband. Mrs Hodge-Sigma-Seven told us that
she was 'considerably happier now she's found someone who releases
proper updates on a more regular basis' ...
Signed: GOTAN & RDM
This has been a spooky (Ami)X-Files release =)
... End ...